Traumwind - Transitions

I'm currently deeply in a state of transition... with all the pain and angst such a change brings. I'm not really at home here in Nürnberg anymore, but I'm also not really there yet either. I had a short week there w/o wife and the kids, that gave me a chance to 'find my place'. But then that would be on my own, which I will not be. So once my family is there also, I'll need a new period of adjustment. And it's not only the place and surroundings that are changing. My whole life will be changing, with new occupation - which has still to be found/defined - and everything. Also everythings works out differently from the way it was planned/envisioned. That is not bad in any way - it just means constant adjustment of my mental world-model...

And as I said, I'm still struggeling to define my personal role in the future. Starting from mundane things like what to do for a living all the way to my 'personal vision of the future'. All I know for sure is that will not be trodding the same paths I followed in the past.

All that change and then my eyesight has chosen this time to worsen even further... As always I'm not sure if is a physical decline, or if it is just subjective. I know my vision is influenced by my mood. Feeling stressed and down my vision declines. Being fresh and positive I usually cope better... But I also experience a total decline in the past years. That is to be expected and I am prepared for that to happen. It's the way this handicap I have usually developes. But is is still not very easy to deal with. I have been a very visual person for quite some time now, consciously choosing to strech the borders of my vision as far as it would go. I even erned my living as a graphic artist once. [ by Martin>] [permalink] [similar entries]

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Martin Spernau
© 1994-2003

Big things to come (TM) 30th Dez 2002

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